教習の壁

 自動車の教習が始まって1週間になるが、栃木で自動車免許を取得しようと考えたのは失敗だったと思うことが一つだけある。
 教官は良い人だし、授業も面白いのだが、栃木弁での技能教習が死ぬほど難しい。動かした事もない車を動かすのから、技能教習が難しいのは予想していたし、乗車中にごちゃごちゃとアドバイスを受けるであろうことも覚悟はしていた。しかし、車中という密室の中で、純粋な栃木弁と戦う苦労は、標準語に慣れてしまった私の脳には信じがたい負荷であり、予想外の苦難だ。何しろアドバイスを頭の中で標準語に翻訳するという余計なワンクッションが必要な為、ハンドル操作が大抵ワンテンポ遅れる。言葉数の多い教官ともなると、50分の乗車終了後は、しばらく脳をクールダウンさせないと完全にフリーズしてしまう。出来るだけ帰りはゆっくりと自転車を走らせて帰っているが、それでも夜は脳が煮詰まりまくって、言葉はおろか、ちょっとした音ですら拒絶反応をもよおす。
 今のところ何とかなっているが、まだ第一段階。第二段階で路上に出たら、おそらく発狂するか事故を起こすに違いない、と今から少々心配だ。

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